I know there are a lot of moms who would love to stay home with their kids, but they – and their husbands – have doubts. Can we make it on one income? Will I be bored at home? Can I handle the stress of being the sole provider? Will we have to live on beans and rice? Will we still be able to retire someday? What will the kids think? What will our friends think? What’s the responsible thing to do? Sometimes, we just need a little reassurance from someone who’s been there, and for men, that reassurance means more if it’s coming from another man.
SO, I decided to interview my husband. He’s been doing the sole-provider thing for almost nine years, and he’ll be the first to tell you that he never thought he’d be able to make this work. At least, not on his own. But, with the help of God, the support of our families, and a little creativity, we continue to be blessed and thriving nine years (and five more children) later.
Why did you and your wife decide that she would quit her job and become a stay-at-home mom?
John: It’s been a dream of hers, and it’s been a dream of mine, for a long time, that we would be in a situation that we could do this. With her wanting to do it and approaching me about it, I thought it was a no-brainer. She put the pencil to it – how much is daycare, where can we find another $50. She did all the homework and figured it all out. It was what she wanted and what I wanted, and we’ve never looked back.
Were you worried about your wife becoming a stay-at-home mom? If so, what were your main concerns?
John: I think in the beginning the only thing that I might have been concerned about was her getting bored at home. She’s so good at her job, I was afraid that she might miss that and want to go back into the workforce.
What are some of the sacrifices you made so that your wife could become a stay-at-home mom?
John: I really don’t see any sacrifice. The only thing I can think of is when we first started, we got rid of our satellite dish, we went down to one car…and we rent, so we haven’t purchased a house since we’ve been doing this, but I know that we could do it, so I don’t think that’s a sacrifice. That’s about it, just a few odds and ends that were just a few monthly payments. We were able to find the money by not having daycare, not having the extra car payment and insurance, and my wife is very good at finding money.
What is the best part about your wife being a stay-at-home mom?
John: Security for my children. I think growing up in the 60’s and 70’s like I did, it was such a wonderful thing that my mom was a stay-at-home mom, and I feel the same about my situation now. The kids don’t have to go and stay at someone else’s house or get dropped off at 6 am. The security that mom is always there – you can’t put a price on that.
What are some of the other benefits?
John: Doctor’s appointments, picking the kids up from school, not having to worry about if one of the kids is sick, just simple things like that. Appointments and errands that she can get done if she wants to.
What is your plan if you lose your job or a significant portion of your income?
John: I guess I haven’t felt like I needed a plan. If it comes to that, I would find employment elsewhere. I don’t think that’s an issue. It’s never part of my plan that she would go back to work. I don’t worry about money.
What role did God and your faith play in your decision to become a one-income family?
John: I think the whole thing was based on that. In a worldly mindset, I couldn’t imagine this, to trust my lone income to give me all the things that I need for a growing family and take care of all the finances and continue to grow our family.
What differences have you noticed in your wife, your children, and your household in general since your wife became a stay-at-home mom?
John: I’d say there’s so much more peace about the household. It’s very peaceful. It’s a lot more organized, and there’s no stress coming from job to home. I try to help out with the daily things, but she finds a lot of joy in cooking and in running the household. There’s less drama with the kids; more quality time with the kids.
What advice would you give other husbands who have concerns about their wives becoming stay-at-home moms?
John: First, I would pray about it. Seek God’s help on it, and maybe sit down and pencil it out. If it’s her heart’s desire, and it’s God’s will, you will be blessed. You will benefit tremendously from it. The lost income is such a minor part of it. I think about these children and how this is the only childhood they have. All the time spent in daycare. You just can’t put a price on this. They always say, you never say on your deathbed that you wish you’d had more time at work. I think God will bless you in a special way, and your children will come back when they’re older and they’ll treasure her, and they’ll say, look what Mom sacrificed for us.
Is your husband concerned about you staying home? Was he concerned at first, but you were able to overcome his objections? Share your story in the comments!