I had “How to Pray for Your Kids” on my list of topics to post about this month, but I’m not sure I’m qualified to write about it. I do pray for my kids, but I’m not very consistent and I don’t really have a method. What I really need is a plan – and someone to keep me accountable to that plan.
If you’ve been wanting to pray for your kids but feel overwhelmed or confused about how to start, keep reading. By the end of the post, you’ll have an outline for a quick, simple prayer time that even a busy mom should be able to stick to. We can be accountable to each other; I’ll have another post in a month or so to report back on how well the plan is working and whether anything needs to change. You can keep me updated on your progress in the comments below or on the Radical Motherhood Facebook page.
Why Pray for Your Kids?
Overall, even though I’ve had more than two decades to get this right, I’ve done a pretty lazy job of praying for my kids. I’ve prayed when you’d think a mom would pray – when one of them is sick, or going somewhere far away without me, or competing in sports – and that’s about it. Those are great times to pray, but they’re really all just about protecting their bodies from harm. Our kids have so many other needs that we can pray for:
- To learn how to be a good friend and to cultivate good friendships
- To grow in their relationship with God
- To respect authority
- To do their best in school, at work, and in extracurricular activities
- To learn humility
- To discover their gifts, talents, and vocation
- To respect their bodies and live chastely
- To resist temptation and bad influences
- To find good role models and mentors
- To have a healthy self-image
- To develop good financial habits
My goal is to expand my prayers so that I’m thinking beyond just today to my children’s entire lives – including their eternal lives.
Obstacles to Prayer
I have a lot of books about prayer and praying for your children. I’ve read them, and re-read them, but I’ve always struggled to follow their advice. Why? Well, here are some reasons. Do any of these sound familiar?
- I don’t have time
- I don’t know what to pray for
- I’m not holy enough to ask for God’s help
- God already knows what my kids need better than I do
- I should be focused on doing things with my kids, not praying for them
- Their grandparents and other relatives are probably already praying for them (and doing it better than I would)
In years past, I really believed those excuses; lately, I’ve decided that God wants me to pray anyway.
1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18 says, “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”
I want to be able to do that! But praying without ceasing? When I can’t even seem to manage 15 minutes a day? Believe it or not, I’ve even got a simple way for us to start praying WITHOUT CEASING.
Simple Steps to Getting Started
I’m going to keep this process as quick and simple as I can. These six steps are going to take us from where we are now to a solid daily prayer routine.
Here’s what you’re going to do:
- Tell your husband
- Choose a prayer time
- Choose a prayer space
- Start a list of prayer requests
- Choose some prayers and/or prayer books that inspire you
- Start praying
Tell Your Husband
As with any goal, it helps to bring someone into the loop who can keep you accountable. Tell your husband that you’re planning to start praying regularly for your children, and ask him to help you set aside the time and space to do so. Maybe he’ll even want to join you. Besides praying for my kids, my other prayer goal for the last decade or so has been to pray for and WITH my husband, so I would probably welcome hime to join me (if the kids were still able to occupy themselves somewhere else). Either way, let him know that you would really appreciate his help in staying on track with your prayer plan. Another great person to recruit for accountability would be a mom friend, or perhaps even your own mom.
Choose a Prayer Time
Many people suggest praying first thing in the morning so you don’t forget about it or lose your ambition, but I struggle a lot in the morning just to get the basics done – shower, clothes, and so on. There is SO much to do in the morning when you have little kids at home that I can’t imagine trying to carve out a quiet, relaxing prayer time. And I cannot get up at 5 am every day. I just can’t do it. My best time is probably either right after lunch or right after dinner.
So, step one is to find a time when you can easily spend 15 minutes in relative peace and quiet, and designate that as your prayer time. If you have any children under 4, I would say you’re setting yourself up to fail if you try to schedule your prayer time when no other adult (or babysitter) is around, so take that into consideration too.
Establishing a prayer time doesn’t mean that it’s the only time you can or should pray (we’ll talk about that in a little bit), but it does ensure that you’ll have a few minutes to yourself for uninterrupted prayer.
Choose a Prayer Space
Having a designated spot to pray will help everyone in the family to know when you’re taking some special, private time to pray. Choose a comfortable spot in the house, and store your Bible, prayer books, notebooks, and all of your other prayer supplies in a basket nearby. Let everyone know that this is your prayer spot, and when you’re sitting there with your prayer basket at whatever time you’ve chosen, you’re talking with God…alone. Your prayer space can be used for other activities at other times, but during prayer time, it’s just for you.
Start a List of Prayer Requests
One reason I get stumped when I pray is that I start second-guessing everything. I start to wonder…should I really be praying for that? What if God doesn’t want that to happen? What if the person I’m praying for doesn’t want that to happen? Is there something better I should be praying for? Am I underestimating what God can do here? Am I overestimating what God can do here? And it just keeps going like that until I give up.
This time, I want to come prepared with a list of requests that I’ve thought of (and written out) in advance, and I’m just going to stick to them unless something better comes to mind while I’m praying. I had a friend who kept a list of every prayer request she made, and if she found out that the prayer had been answered, she’d write the date by it and change her prayer to a prayer of thanksgiving. I think I like that idea. I’m going to get a notebook, write at least one request in advance for each of my kids, and go from there.
Choose Some Prayers and/or Prayer Books That Inspire You
One of the things I love about the Catholic Church is that we have many, many beautiful prayers written by saints and sages of the past that we can borrow for use during our own prayer time. We also have the Bible, which is full of prayers (the Our Father and the Psalms, for example). When you don’t know what to say to God, saying a pre-written prayer can express what you can’t figure out how to say on your own, and it can also inspire you to start a more informal conversation with God. In your prayer basket, include a few of these kinds of prayers or prayer books for those times when you find it hard to use your own words. Some of my favorite traditional Catholic prayers are:
The Rosary – a series of meditations on the life of Jesus
The Divine Mercy Chaplet – a plea for God’s mercy
The St. Michael Prayer – for protection against evil
The Memorare – a request to Mary to pray for you
The Litany of Humility – when you’re struggling with pride
Psalm 23 – “the Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack…”
The Morning Offering – offering your day to God (more on this in the next section)
I also have a few books about how to pray for your children that have some great ideas and prayers in them. My favorite is The Power of a Praying Parent, by Stormie Omartian. You can find it used online for under $5. This is not a Catholic book, but I’ve had it since before I was Catholic, and I think it contains some very wise and helpful information. When I start to panic about how pathetic my prayer life is, I grab this book and read a few chapters. In each chapter, the author discusses a specific area of a child’s life for which parents should pray (to stay away from bad influences, for example). Then, she shares a story from her own life and a prayer that she has written about this specific topic. If you aren’t comfortable with traditional Catholic prayers, this book could be a way to help give you the words to pray when you can’t come up with them on your own.
Another great book about prayer that I’ve read at least a dozen times is Prayer for Beginners, by Peter Kreeft. It’s short, simple, and full of practical advice for starting or advancing your prayer life.
How to Pray Without Ceasing
Earlier I quoted St. Paul from 1 Thessalonians: “Pray without ceasing.”
My first reaction to that was, well yeah, if you’re St. Paul…or maybe a monk. That’s clearly impossible for the rest of us. I mean, pray instead of make dinner? Pray instead of take the dog out? What kind of a household would that be?? Even to pray WHILE doing all of the things moms do in a typical day seems impossible. Am I really supposed to pray while I’m in the car with six kids, or helping someone with an Algebra problem, or shopping for groceries? Who can even DO that? Is Paul trying to make us all miserable?
Offer Everything to God
But then, someone explained to me that you can offer everything you do to God – as a prayer – even your daily chores. So, I can tell God, “Lord, I offer this ten minutes of mopping the floor up to you as a prayer.” And so it is. I can even go further and tell him, “Lord, I would like to offer this ten minutes of mopping the floor to you as a prayer for mercy for my son, who has cut off his relationship with you. Please soften his heart and lead him back to you.” Wow! Praying without ceasing just got a lot easier, didn’t it?
When you say the Morning Offering prayer linked above, you offer your whole day to God in one 30-second prayer. When I remember to say the Morning Offering, I think about it often throughout the day and realize – Oh yeah! I offered this up as a prayer already! And that makes whatever I’m doing a little bit easier and less tedious. I mop that floor a little more diligently when I know that I’m doing it for God. When there’s a divine purpose to everything you do, everything you do seems a little less frustrating and a little more meaningful.
Start a Family Prayer Time?
Family prayer time is definitely going to be phase two for me. I need to get a few weeks of my own prayer time under my belt before I add on even more. However, family prayer time sounds amazing. I want more than just 15 seconds before bedtime. I want us all to sit down together and talk to God about everything – what we need, what we’re grateful for, what we want to do better tomorrow. We’ll share, and laugh, and cry, and maybe even sing a hymn or two…
I’m going to save family prayer time until after my own prayer time has been established and become a habit. For now, I’m adding it to my list of prayer requests and waiting until the time seems right.
The Timeline
Here’s my 2-week plan for establishing my prayer time:
Week 1:
- Tell my husband what I’m doing and why
- Choose a prayer spot
- Find a prayer basket
- Find, print, or order some prayers or prayer books (including a Bible)
- Find a prayer notebook and a GOOD PEN
- Think about some potential prayer times (around 15 minutes). During the week, during those times of the day, make note of what’s going on
Week 2:
- Review my notes on potential prayer times and choose the best one
- Write down at least one prayer request per child
- Clean up the prayer spot
- Put the prayer materials in the prayer basket and set it in the prayer spot
- Tell my husband and children about the prayer spot
- Start praying!
Getting Started
Now it’s time to get started! Our biggest challenge is going to be getting discouraged and wanting to give up, so be prepared for that. If you miss a couple of days, just start back up again. I’ll be praying for you and your prayer routine; please pray for me and mine!
Ready to join me on this journey to a deeper prayer life? Leave a comment about your prayer plan below.
