(And what I’ve learned from the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd)
I am not an expert on evangelizing children. I’m not even an expert on evangelizing my own children. I have, however, spent the last twenty years or so trying to figure out how to do it, and I’ve learned some things. Mostly, things you should never do if you’re trying to evangelize children.
But, recently, I’ve gotten involved with a Catholic/Montessori method called The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, and I think it’s what I’ve been searching for all these years.
Before we get into that, though, let’s look back at my first attempts at evangelization to see where I might have gone wrong. Maybe you’ll be able to relate.
When my older kids were in grade school, I homeschooled them for several years. I bought Christian curriculum, and we did all of the typical Christian homeschool stuff. We read the Bible and memorized Bible verses. We talked about history in light of the Bible. And we talked about science in light of the Bible. Heck, we talked about math in light of the Bible. We went to church every Sunday and kids’ church every Wednesday night. We prayed together, listened to Christian music, and hung out with other Christian families. I was pretty sure I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing to help my kids get to know and follow Jesus. I even got compliments on how knowledgeable my kids were about their faith.
Pretty awesome, right? Isn’t that what homeschooling is all about? Integrating your faith life with your school life with your life life? It was easy for me to believe, when my kids were still in grade school, that their faith foundation was rock solid.
And Then…
And then, it all gradually seemed to crumble. They got older. And the older they got, the further they drifted from what I thought I had taught them – what I thought they had believed. They didn’t want to go to church. They didn’t want to talk about God. If I had an opinion or a belief about something, they chose the opposite side. I guess you expect that from teenagers, but I was truly shocked at what seemed to be their total abandonment of their faith.
What was going on?
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Love, Love, Love
I had the opportunity recently to eat lunch with some lovely older women from my church. Somehow, we started talking about teaching religious education in our parish, which all of us had done at one time or another. One of them had taught second grade and commented that she was glad they were using a new curriculum, because the old one was all about “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…love, love, love.” She was disappointed that there wasn’t enough information in the materials about the prayers, and the saints, and all of the things that the kids “needed to learn.” Jesus is great, of course, but there’s a lot they need to know before their first communion.
Now, I can’t tell you how often I’ve sat around with other church ladies complaining about religious education. Too many to recall. Frankly, I was getting bored. But when she said, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…love, love, love,” I just about fell off of my chair. It was one of those things that everybody thinks, but when you just don’t say it out loud because it sounds…terrible. Right away, I thought: 1. She was completely, shockingly wrong, and 2. I had thought exactly as she did while I was teaching my own kids years ago.
Facts First or Relationship First?
When I first started trying to evangelize my kids, I was totally focused on all of the facts they “needed to learn.” They knew all the Bible stories. They could rattle off memory verses, prayers, sacraments, disciples… In fact, if you asked them today, they probably still remember most of those things. My focus was on giving them the facts, because the facts would lead them to faith. Right?
If you learn enough about Jesus, you’re bound to fall in love with him. Right???
Is that actually how it works? Did my kids ever fall in love with Jesus? Did they ever realize how much he loves them? I’d have to say no. All those facts ever did was impress a couple of CCD teachers and make me feel like I was doing a good job.
What if I had started with “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…love, love love?” If I had focused on helping my kids fall in love with Jesus, instead of on teaching all the facts? How about, instead of measuring their faith in terms of how many of the sacraments they could spell correctly on a test, I had measured it by the joy I saw when they were in prayer? What I’ve come to realize is that there will always be time to learn the facts of our faith. The urgent thing – the only really important thing – is our relationship with Jesus. And that relationship can only be encouraged; it can’t be taught or forced.
The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd
Several years ago, God started to reveal to me that there was a better way to help my children grow in their faith. The Holy Spirit led me to a Catholic, Montessori-based approach called The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (CGS), which focuses on fostering the relationship between the child and God.
Here’s a description of the CGS approach from cgsusa.org:
An interpersonal relationship is always a mystery, all the more so when the relationship is between God and the child. We believe there is a deep bond between God and the child which produces in the child the desire to draw nearer to God. The adult, the catechist’s role is to prepare the environment, to offer selected presentations from scripture and liturgy. The catechist listens with the child and together they ask, “God, who are you? How do you love us?” The atrium (or prepared environment) is one of the important elements that helps the relationship between God and the child to flourish.
Does that sound kind of weird? I sure thought it did. For several years, I dismissed CGS as a little too…out there for me and my family. I just didn’t get it.
But, for some reason (desperation, perhaps), I gave it a chance.
I was surprised to learn that CGS has been around since the 1950’s, and its creators (Sofia Cavalletti and Gianna Gobbi) spent most of their lives developing and refining the CGS method. It’s beautiful, simple, deeply Catholic, and extraordinarily effective. I still struggle to explain the CGS method to others, but I want to share some of the key points I’ve learned that I think will help you navigate your children’s faith development. If you’re ready to learn more about CGS, you can check out the resources section at the end of this post.
Very Young Children Can Know God
CGS begins with the youngest children (ages 0-3!), because Sofia and Gianna recognized that even the youngest children are capable of knowing God. They are innately spiritual and instinctively seem to know that God is real and good. They have a hunger for God and for his love. Very young children are also capable of deep and beautiful prayer, although it’s much different from the prayer of an older child or an adult. Children of all ages need to spend time in communion with God – we can’t wait until our children are school-aged to introduce them to Him.
Religious Education Must Meet the Child’s Developmental Needs
Maria Montessori, who preceded and inspired Cavalletti and Gobbi’s development of CGS, was one of the first female doctors in Italy. She was drawn to psychiatry and eventually to the study of educational methods, which led to the development of her own method of instruction. Her method shocked her contemporaries with its focus on meeting the needs of the children, rather than on the agenda of the educator.
Montessori identified four planes of development: from ages 0-6, 6-12, 12-18, and 18-24. Each plane has a very distinct set of characteristics and educational needs. You can read more about the planes of development on the American Montessori Society’s website here. The bottom line is, when trying to teach our children, we won’t be effective unless we meet their developmental needs. We can’t teach a 3-year-old using the same materials and strategies as we would an 8-year-old. The 3-year-old is in a sensitive period for language and order, whereas the 8-year-old is developing a need for community and morality.
The Environment Matters
Probably the most distinctive feature of Montessori-style education is its emphasis on the environment: the place where the children go to learn. Montessori and CGS use specific, hands-on materials in a very carefully designed space. Every piece of furniture, every tool, has been extensively tested and refined to make sure it meets the needs of the children. Nothing is allowed in the environment that is not absolutely essential to the child. This principle has gradually changed the way I arrange and decorate not just our homeschool area, but my whole house as well. I’m on a mission to make our home a place where it’s easy to contemplate goodness, beauty, and truth.
The Only Teacher is Jesus, God’s Incarnate Word
Most of what I’ve taught in a religious education setting and in my own homeschool has been based on what I (or some curriculum) want to accomplish during the school year. As the teacher, I set our agenda for the day, the week, the semester. Very rarely were the children able to choose their own work or develop their own schedule. If someone did well, learned quickly, or produced exceptional work, I felt justified in claiming partial credit for it.
In CGS, this is all reversed. The role of the adult is to prepare the environment, proclaim the Word, and get out of the way. The child’s work, and the fruit of it, belong to him alone. The children choose what materials they want to work with and how long they want to work with them. (The first time I observed my four-year-olds at CGS, they each spent at least 30 minutes just washing their hands.) The adults are also required to resist any attempt to measure or judge how “well” the child is learning. There are no worksheets or quizzes. CGS catechists are to view themselves as the unworthy servant of the Gospel, humbly and sincerely respecting the relationship between God and the child. In my homeschool, the biggest change in this area has been more silence – and more listening – on my part.
We Are Not Responsible for Forming Them; God Is
Isn’t that a relief? Our job isn’t to impose our vision onto our children, but to help them see God’s vision for their lives. We don’t get to (or have to!) decide who they’re going to be; God has already done that. Our role is to help our children connect with God and discover the gifts – and the life – He has for them. Too often, I try to figure out what my kids are good at (or worse, what I WANT them to be good at), and push them to do that thing. I take on the responsibility of “preparing” them for the life I think they should want, assuming that I know better than the child does what he should be doing now, in the future, and even as an adult.
What CGS has taught me is that I don’t know better. I’m actually getting in the way of the work that God and my child are supposed to be doing together. There’s a level of respect that CGS gives to children that they don’t typically get in today’s world. Not respect in the sense that we should let the kids do whatever they want, but respect for the fact that they are distinct individuals, made for a purpose, in the image and likeness of the Almighty God.
Children Pray Through Work
Children don’t play during their time at CGS; they work. It may look like play, and it took me a while to stop calling it play, but that’s not what it is. Children have a need for work just as adults do. Their work gives them great satisfaction, and it helps them enter into a state of prayer; of closeness to God. Our job, as parents, is to help our kids find meaningful work that suits their age and ability. Without it, they’re restless and unable to focus (sound familiar?). Even more importantly, they’re unable to pray.
This is an area I’m struggling with as a homeschool mom, because I feel unqualified (and afraid) to do something new. The experts wrote the homeschool books, right? Can’t we all just do what they tell us to do? The idea of helping each child find work that’s actually meaningful and important to them is overwhelming. However, I have to acknowledge that the work my children dislike the most is also the least productive work they do. They don’t learn or retain it; we just sort of plod through it to check off the boxes. My goal is to start finding ways that each child can do more of what he or she loves to do without totally abandoning reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic.
Children Pray Through Silence
It has also surprised me to learn how much children need silence. My house is can be unbearably loud, and I’ve always assumed that it’s because kids are naturally loud and attracted to noise. Not so. In the atrium, silence reigns. Everyone speaks softly and moves slowly. I’m on a mission to reduce the noise level at home, but I’ve found that my attempts at gaining silence often involve me screaming. I don’t think that’s how Montessori would have done it. One idea I’d like to try is the silence game, which helps draw the children’s attention to the beauty of silence. It also helps them practice self-control and working together toward a common goal. I also have a feeling that the more meaningful work I can find for each of us, the lower the noise level will naturally get.
Let God do the Hard Stuff
The biggest lesson I’ve learned about evangelizing our children is that we have to let God do the hard stuff. Our job is to help our kids connect with Him, so they can fall in love with Him. If teaching your kids about your faith has become something forced, something you dread, something that you all find dry and boring – take a break. You’re probably trying to do too much. Instead of teaching from your religion textbook or giving a lecture, try spending a few minutes in silence together, or reading a short Psalm. Ask your kids to share what they’re thinking, or wondering, or worrying about. Spend a few days praying for God to give you a new insight into what your kids need from you so that they can draw closer to Him. Relax. This is in God’s hands, not just yours.
